"Cereal Killer"

The bodies were all found, stomachs cut open and a spoon sticking out, the contents emptied. The only clues of the victim’s last meal would be the boxes of cereal found nearby. Cartoon characters adorned brightly colored boxes of sugary flavored grains. The masses gradually stopped eating, and subsequently buying, their favorite morning meal. 

Companies became outraged as profits dropped, and the pressure to find this cereal serial murderer was ever intensifying. The FBI was called in. There was buzz among the common masses, though. 

“I eat cereal every morning and I haven’t been touched!” 

“It’s a government ploy.” 

“It’s just mass hysteria!” 

The rumors milled, YouTube conspiracy videos became viral, and the populace was divided as the Cereal Killer continued to go untouched. It was a true crime podcaster that was onto the truth, and young woman who went simply by “Gen” that had the idea that finally led to the end of the killer’s reign. 

“The reports refuse to disclose the cereal, sure, but the testimonies of people being untouched can’t be ignored. They all have a commonality! I was able to contact a few of them, too, dear listeners, and you know what they all had in common? They all eat rice cereal! Rice Krispies, Fruity Pebbles, Rice Chex, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the list goes on! Rice cereal is safe!” 

The answer was in the flours all along. Wheat and corn cereals would seem to work as a welcome sign to the serial killer, but rice? It worked in the opposite. 

Gary Chuffney was arrested on December 17th by the FBI after a teen named Mary Austen took this information and swapped her Rice and Corn Chex contents. She is reported to have waited, and then one morning went to eat her Rice Chex from the Corn Chex box. She was attacked, but the Chuffney shortly began to go into anaphylactic shock as he was highly allergic to rice. Austen was rescued in time and is expected to make a full recovery. Chuffney will also make a full recovery, but in the state penitentiary.